Watching my Husband Through the Basement Window as He Scrapes the Sill for Painting
Micki Blenkush
He kneels, scowling in the ferns,
inches away through glass. So focused on purpose
he doesn’t notice me standing on tiptoe
making kissy faces or even the cat
who stretches from the table trying to grasp
the scraper through the pane.
She meows the affront of his disregard
even as he grimaces with the strain of leaning
left then right around the outdoor faucet.
This century-old house with its wrap-around-porch
and ceaseless maintenance was the one he wanted most.
Purchased in our middle age, I asked how long
we’ll manage the stairs, tend the double lot?
The upstairs hallway is cracking.
Plaster and lath giving way. Not cataclysmic,
yet gradually undeniable. Peril of every porous surface.
For now, arbitrary upkeep is good enough.
The floral wallpaper bordering our living room
is good enough. If I were to speak, he’d hear me,
but I’m silent in this one-way mirror intimacy.
His forearms. His wedding ring. His tacit mouth.
That he reads poems aloud to help me sleep
before he goes downstairs to watch TV
wraps me in the gauze of my asking.
Sometimes in a long marriage, distance
is the maintenance. I in my upstairs office
and he in the basement workshop
that he decorated with driftwood snuck inside
piece by piece, fashioned into a centerpiece tree.
Here again I am within, viewing out.
For me, a foreground of cobweb and grime
waiting to be washed clean.
For him, another task to work his way through.
For each of us, the distinction between
looking at or into.
Micki Blenkush is the author of Now We Will Speak in Flowers published by Blue Light Press. She was selected as a 2017-2018 fellow in poetry for the Loft Literary Center’s Mentor Series program and is a 2015 & 2019 recipient of grants awarded through the Central MN Arts Board, funded through the McKnight Foundation. Micki’s writing has appeared in numerous journals including: Josephine Quarterly, Typishly, Cagibi, and Crab Creek Review. She lives in St. Cloud, Minnesota and works as a social worker. mickiblenkush.com
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